This had better be good

When one doesn't update one's blog in 5 months... an entire season has passed, birthdays have occurred, many many cute things have been said and done... it had better be worth the wait. At least that's the pressure I put on myself with every passing day when my little family journal does not get written. Excuses abound, from volunteering for preschool projects, crafting my way through Christmas presents, and the fact that my children still do not go to bed on command (or stay asleep all night, for that matter!). But please, don't get your hopes up for a craftily worded and concise summary of the last 5 months! I'll just try to get us caught up... since there is no way to do that quickly with words, please check out the new photo albums linked to the right that give some idea of what we've been up to this busy fall and Christmas season!

To start where I left off, Ian's wind phobia disappeared as quickly as it appeared, thank God! It was a rough summer, but we took comfort in knowing that (while extreme) it was a totally developmentally appropriate phenomenon. Some kids fear other weather, drains, small animals, or noises, but Ian feared something we have a lot of here in CO, wind. He laughs at wind now, and though it may make reappearances in the future, this phobia is conquered for the time being. Now Ian is a big 4 year old, thriving in Mrs. Greer's 4's class at school. He lives as a Superhero most of the time, and costumes are his thing right now. He stated to me the other day that he was going to teach Maggie how to be Wonder Woman. He is asking many many questions, some of which are hard to answer! "Did God make that?", "Are we on the bottom or the top of the world?", "How do our white blood cells kill the germs?", "How do we move our muscles?"????? They go on and on, and show his growing curiosity of everything in his world, and sometimes the outer realms too. His favorite way to ask for something he thinks is unlikely is "I can't have another cookie......", or "I can't watch another Superhero Squad Show...." in a sweet and trailing voice.

Maggie has gone from a curly-haired toddler to a little girl in the past 5 months. She is weaned, potty-trained, sleeping (mostly!) in her Dora bed at night, and constantly chattering up a storm. She went from curly hair to almost bald (in retrospect I do wonder why I never took her to the doctor?? Intuition that all would be well, I suppose) to a full head of straight and irregular-length regrowing brown hair. That was a strange transformation, but I think it must have been losing baby hair finally, as it happened during a very rapid growth and development spurt. She's grown inches and all her teeth are (finally!) in. She is so grown up, in fact, that she is starting in Miss Cheri's Toddler class at Ian's school next week! We did a trial day earlier this month and she absolutely loved it, so we've signed her up. In theory that means Mommy time on Mon/Weds mornings, but in reality I'll be working every Monday, and since we now have double the coop days I'll be at the preschool just about every Weds! Oh well, it really is for Maggie's benefit and she is oh-so-ready. She has plenty of questions too, but the cutest thing has to be her inability to pronounce a hard "C" or "K" especially to start a word... this translates to "Sitty-sat", "Supsake", "Charseat", and my personal favorite, "Sookie". "Mellelllos" has grown to "marshlellos" (marshmallows, of course!) under Ian's persistent coaching. Finally, and I don't have a clue where she got this, "bishup" means to zip-up... These are the things I must write down or they will be lost forever! I already hear glimpses of "K" in these words, I think this cuteness is on it's way out.

Daily there are things that should be scribed for posterity, and now that I've broken my silence, I just may do a better job of keeping up!

Breakthrough

Happy Beach Boy

Day 4, Coronado

Three days of driving, with a good long overnight stop in Las Vegas that involved two trips to the pool, we found ourselves in San Diego surrounded by lots of family. A visit late into the evening at Uncle Jerry and Aunt Suzy’s beautiful new house on Coronado, and a good sleep at Amy and Tom’s (Thanks everyone, for your hospitality!!) prepared us for a day at the beach; or so we thought. We were tired, no doubt, but this is one of the top 10 beaches in the country, and we’re there with Grandma and Grandpa, aunties, uncles, cousins, and nothing could spoil it. Except the wind.

Ian was terrified to get out of the car. The wind was blowing and we had so much beach gear to blow away. Nothing, not even the soothing and enticement from his big girl cousins, could get him out of that car. This was it; we drove all the way to California for some serious beach time, and his fear of the wind was going to ruin it for him and at least one of us. At a loss, and at an all-time pinnacle of frustration, Maggie and Mommy set out for the beach just a block away while Daddy and Ian sat in the car. I was heartbroken. With tears swelling in my eyes and my stomach wrenched, I took Maggie to the beach. Back at the car, the boys without a plan or a clue what to do next, sat in the heat for a while. Matt had a realization a few minutes into this torture; we had been giving Ian too much responsibility for this. All the negotiation, “we’ll go to the beach and if it’s too windy we’ll leave”, had been too much. He needed to be told that this is what we are doing and he could scream or get mad or do whatever he needed to do to get through this, but we were taking him to the beach. This was for his own good, this boy who loves water was going to be in heaven when he touched that ocean. He was not going to be allowed to ruin this for himself.

Armed with new conviction, Matt set his iPhone timer for 20 minutes. When it went off, they were going to walk to the beach. When the time came, Ian screamed and cried, but he walked. When a little “gust” of breeziness (it is the beach, after all) picked up, his cries would escalate. But as they rounded the corner and the beach came into view, he stopped crying. He said “Daddy, what’s that?”. Matt told him that this was the beach, and he should take his shoes off to feel the sand under his feet. A little reassurance that his shoes would be safe from the wind with Daddy holding them, he started running to the water and never looked back. Three hours of playing in the waves ensued; running, kicking, punching, karate chopping, and getting out all of that angst. The water had defeated the wind, for a day anyway. It truly was a breakthrough, with very, very little mention of any breeze (or outright wind, for that matter) for the rest of the trip. Thank God that at least one parent had some clarity, so the other’s heart was mended seeing her blissful little boy on that beach. Within one hour, we had seen our low and our high of the whole trip.

San Rafael Swell

Day 10,

The road trip is coming to an end. The kids have exceeded our every expectation; they are road warriors. They made it 4.5 hours from Las Vegas to Salina, UT, with only one brief stop along the way. After a gas-up we romped in a little grassy area just off the road in downtown Salina, reorganized our toys and snacks, and were on our way again. We were headed east, through an area without services for 110 miles on the way to Green River, UT. It had been a pitch-black night without a moon when we drove this stretch westward, and we were astonished by the beauty we had missed. Red bluffs, canyons, and impossible looking rock outcroppings in every direction. We were less than an hour out from our last stop when Maggie suddenly wanted out of her carseat. Knowing that this usually doesn’t change until she is freed, we pulled off at the next exit, which was a view area hidden behind the hills that flank the Interstate. We were immediately grateful to Maggie for this unanticipated stop, as the canyon lands that lay before our eyes were breathtaking. White, smooth rock formations with caves carved into them surrounded us. The surreal view pulled us down a rocky slope to find sheer white cliffs and a setting sun that was shedding the most beautiful light on the rocks and the red bluffs beyond. We were in awe, taking pictures, and basking in the glow when we met Tim.

Tim is a truck driver from Colorado Springs whose hobby is photography. He likes to share his perspective of the roads he travels through his photography, and he asked Matt to take some shots of him perched on the cliffs. That mission accomplished, he began spontaneously to shoot pictures of the kids in the perfect sunset light. Turns out that Tim is pretty talented, and soon he was catching very unposed and natural moments of the kids playing around on the rocks. He even took a family photo that just might make a Christmas card, if we ever see it again. I just hope that I wrote down my email address correctly and that Tim finds the time to use it, or we will have lost a rare opportunity. It was one of those serendipitous moments that can only arise from unorchestrated and unscripted chance. I have faith that he’ll email.

Still enchanted by our roadside luck, we drove in to the night. Las Vegas to Boulder in one day with two kids in carseats, arriving around 4am. It has been a great trip, start to finish. I now remember what road trips do not only for the functional fulfillment of a family vacation, but for the soul. We’ve slowed down, been together the whole time; we've had our moments of bliss and laughter, and moments of chaos and frustration. We've eaten too much junk food and drunk very bad truckstop coffee. We've seen much family and many good friends, explored new places, and above all we have re-gained perspective on our little life in Boulder. We are already planning the next trip. Thank you, Ian and Maggie, for allowing it to happen and making it great.

Two Rivers

Day 1; Boulder to Salina, UT

There is something about the freedom of the road. We haven’t experienced it for a looooong time. When we finally locked up our clean house with clean sheets and empty fridge- because coming home to a clean house makes coming home all the sweeter- it was a feeling we haven’t had in a while. The kids’ first road trip. We’ve been talking about it for weeks, telling them all about each place we’re visiting, who we’re going to see, and how we’re going to pass the time in the car (thank God for the laptop, the ability to charge it along the way, and Matt’s ability to pirate otherwise unobtainable kid shows). We have books, fresh playdoh, art implements, music, movies, lacing beads, puzzles, and a few surprises to be pulled out at critical moments. We have snacks. We have juice boxes. We have 4 different kinds of chargers. I can’t help but reflect on how soft modern society has made us. Pioneer kids had sticks and rocks; but then again, they weren’t strapped into carseats for hours on end.

We left the house at 12:32, which was 32 minutes after our planned departure; not bad. The novelty was very exciting, Ian of course never slept but Maggie finally went down around Vail, 2 hours into the journey. When she woke up right before Glenwood Springs, in time to see the river, the tunnels, trains and spectacular scenery of Glenwood Canyon, then the magic began. We pulled out the iPhones and pulled up some visitor info. Armed with that, a quick hop into the Visitor Center yielded us directions to a great park and a coupon for a free tram ride, provided we waited til 5. We spent some time playing at the playground and visiting with local parents, kids and dogs at Two Rivers Park, where the Colorado River and the Roaring Fork River meet. It was hot; we stuck our feet in the chilly Colorado and watched some boats get pulled out of the water at the boat ramp.

We meandered over to the Swiss tram that would take us up to the Glenwood Caverns fun park. This is the best little secret we’ve stumbled across in a long time. We thought we’d just get a beautiful tram ride up a mountain, but when you get off the tram you are greeted by an old western-style park that is actually quite modern and fun. You can tour the caverns, climb a rock wall, ride a mechanical bull, take old western photos, or ride the alpine slide. Oh yes, the alpine slide. Maggie was too young, but Ian could ride with a parent, and I was extremely envious when he chose Matt to escort him. It’s like a toboggan, where you have working brakes, but you can also go full-throttle for a good thrill. Ian was not one bit scared, though the ride was quite windy he told us, and he agreed to take me down for his second ride. He gave me the go-ahead to let go of the brake, and we flew down this beautiful mountain at high speed surrounded by purple and yellow wildflowers. It was breathtaking, and I was quite satisfied when Ian told us that I was the faster driver. We made our way back to the tram, and enjoyed the spectacular double view of the Aspen Valley, lush with early summer greenery, and the canyon to the west carved by the great Colorado. We got back in the car, and back on the road, feeling like this road trip is off to a good start.

Worry Wart

Separation... haircuts... toenail clipping... thunder... but above all, wind. At what point do we worry that this is beyond normal toddler/preschooler fear, and has become a problem? When it interferes with his activities? Check. When it interferes with the family's activities? Check. When he resorts to shutting himself inside to avoid it? Check. When his fear levels him with hysterical cries, red face and sweating head? Check. My range of thoughts on the topic go from "he's smart and gifted... his intellectual understanding (yes, the thunder and the wind can, in fact, hurt you at some level) is beyond his emotional development (being able to put these things into perspective and deal with minor discomforts), to "oh my God, we have to check him in to a mini mental institution or he's going to take up smoking to comfort himself."

Ian has always been an intense kid. Anyone who has talked to us in the last 3 and a half years knows that he has had more than his share of struggle with sleep- nightmares, night terrors, night waking, and giving up naps before 2 years old. He cries when he hears a "sleepy song" or lullaby. He doesn't like loud noises or to be more than 10 feet away from us at most times. He has never, not once, let me take him to a child care for an hour at the gym or even at his preschool while I attend a meeting.

There are many, many levels on which to sing Ian's praises. Just last night a friend of a friend said "wow, he's so respectful" as he stopped to ask me if it was okay to run after the pack of kids that was not caring one iota what their parents thought about playing in the water table in the rain. He's known as a sweet and lovable kid. He has a great imagination and is physically able ahead of his years. But I find this intensity so hard to parent sometimes. Are we supposed to coddle him? Ignore it? Discipline it?? I have no idea what the right answer is. There are always two sides; he is also intensely loving, intensely smart, and intensely attached to us. We always said we were grateful to not have a "bump on a log" baby- sweet and easy but not quite present. Sometimes that sounds kind of nice.

At the end of the day, I do believe these fears will pass. I think the intensity will likely be a lifelong theme for Ian, but that will take him far if channeled constructively. For now, this family needs a vacation. It's a good thing we have a long and leisurely road trip with lots of fun stops on the way coming up next week. Let's just hope it's not windy along the way.

"Is it windy???"

Our attempted backyard picnic in the slightest, most lovely breeze on a warm day. This is just before the tears started to flow.

"If anyone is mean to my sister, I'm just gonna hit them". Awww, so sweet, sort of. Sweet in the sense that Ian takes his role as big brother to Maggie very seriously. Not so sweet in that we then have to explain that there are probably better ways to work through such a scenario. This statement came yesterday morning as we were hiking in Chautauqua. Check out the new photo album to the right, which includes yesterday's hike and stretches all the way back through the winter.

After two events at our house today, a hike and a new water heater yesterday, an end-of-year picnic, a whole new electrical panel and 3 days of Mommy work last week, we're pretty wiped out at the moment. On top of it all, the kids are boycotting sleep again. 10pm-6:30am is not enough sleep for one and three year olds, kids, nor is it enough for Mommy and Daddy. So, until I get some sleep, and therefore more brainpower to write, I'll leave the post at that- just check out the new photos posted at the right.

Goodnight, and happy June! Should be a good month.

The right thing

Maggie is asleep for a nap. It wasn't that simple, though. For 19 months my baby girl has nursed to sleep almost without exception; on occasion she'll fall asleep in the car. This has been fine and well for the most part; no tears, happy baby, happy mommy, happy family with no crying baby. The complication occurs when Mommy goes to work or is somehow otherwise unavailable (which is pretty much never any reason besides work). Then we end up with a heartbroken Daddy, Grammy, or Auntie, when little miss tugs at their shirt when she is tired (and now says "nussies?" with an ever-hopeful look on her face), and they don't have the kind of comfort she wants to help her drift off to sleep. So she rallies, doesn't sleep, is generally still in a pretty good mood, but deteriorates as the day goes on. Either I come home and nurse her to sleep in ten seconds flat and then she's up til 10 (or 11!), or she goes without a nap and has an early but restless night. Neither are good scenarios.

The right thing is most definitely not always the easiest thing.

So, it's time to disassociate "nussies" from sleep for Maggiebel. I've always known that wouldn't be easy. It wasn't with Ian, and it most certainly won't be with Maggie. But the only other option for every one's sanity and health would be to wean her totally, and neither of us are ready for that just yet. I also know that we have, at least in part, created our own little sleep monsters by our practices. I don't regret that for many reasons; we've had happy babies who've had their needs respected and met. At least at this age, she can in part understand what I'm telling her as I try to soothe her to sleep with something other than a nurse; that I love her, that she can do this, she can nurse when she wakes up, and that she is going to be okay. Still, it breaks my heart for her to cry, beg, get angry, and put up a royal fight (no, we still don't have "bump-on-a-log" babies, for which we are usually grateful) while I try to soothe her to sleep with songs, pats, back rubs, and rocking. Today, it took an hour. But here she is above, after crying herself to sleep with me trying inadequately to comfort her. I can't wait for her to wake up to tell her I love her, I'm proud of her, I'm sorry, and that it will help the whole family keep the balance we work so hard for.

Snowed In

Maxwell checking out the snow from his favorite soft vantage point.

Let the yard work begin... and the wheelbarrow rides of course.
A sweet big brother to Maggie and our buddy Kaya on a recent museum outing.
Maggie loves playing on her toddler bed... maybe one day she'll sleep there too!
A new Megatron to pass some snowed-in hours.
This is just a few hours into this storm.

There's nothing like being snowed in during a Boulder spring blizzard... provided that the loved ones are all home and safe... and the house is stocked with sufficient food and spirits! Thankfully, today all of the above are true. Today, and tomorrow, will give us some much needed down time. Why is it that being home during a blizzard seems so much more fun than being home on a day too windy or rainy to go outside? There is something inherently cozy about it, despite having no fireplace to warm our mittens by. There is a crockpot of chili hot in the kitchen, everyone in sweats, no pressure to go anywhere, and a couple of new inside toys bought in an early-storm emergency trip to Target.

We've been regretfully negligent about posting to our blog this winter... but we have some good reasons! For the month of February... you know what they say about not saying anything if you have nothing good to say. This family was sick, sick, sick. It started with Influenza; full blown flu despite the flu shots all around (public health message: we will continue to get flu shots because who knows how many other strains it helped us fend off!). Then came an ill-timed, pardon the pun, trip to California while we were all still way under the weather and it rained every moment of our vacation! Of course there were good parts of that, but had we used better judgement at the time we would have postponed our trip to more fully enjoy it. Once home we shared a case of bronchitis, which turned into Maggie's first ear infection and antibiotics (there is nothing cute about a strong-willed 17 month old who decides that no she does NOT like the amoxicillin despite it being the "best" tasting kind!) and Mary's sinus infection which led to her second round of antibiotics in a month... So after about 5 weeks of illness, the fog finally lifted and we realized how sick we were.

Then came March. March, so far, has seen Mommy go to work more days than not (today, well, until we closed for the blizzard!) was day 6 out of 7. This of course means many things... LOTS of time with Daddy, a more tired (ok, and probably grouchy) Mommy, many outings to fun places so Daddy doesn't go crazy at home, and hopefully a sizable paycheck to pay for our new landscaping project. We finally know what we want to do with the backyard, and that we don't have the capacity to do it all ourselves. Out comes the checkbook and in comes 12 ton of Red Breeze, 5 ton of large boulders (hey, we do live in Boulder), 2 ton of flagstone, 5 ton of local river rock, 3 new irrigation zones, 800 square feet of turf, 100 square feet of vegetable beds, a 100sf water-wise perennial "Garden in a Box" from our lovely city program, and a new Cleveland Select Pear Tree. Now, all we need is some fantastic outdoor furniture for everyone to lounge on in this backyard paradise! Of course this work is not all done yet, but it's well on it's way and we can't wait to enjoy it.

We are amazed at how an entire season can pass us by in a blink, but the kids manage to fit in so much growth and change. No more toddler and baby, we have a full blown preschooler and toddler. They've outgrown their clothes (yet again!), they have new games, new habits (some cute, some not), and new imagination. Ian is having drop-off play dates (who knew we could do this at 3? Not me, but he loves the independence!), has moved on from Thomas the train and Bob the Builder to Star Wars, Spider Man, and Transformers... Iron Man is his new hero. He is testing us in totally new ways (sneaking a tub of brownies into his room and eating 4 before coming out an admitting his crime??), and has found a whole new level of attitude that he throws around. "I'm not talking to you" and "You need to settle down Mommy" have been heard more than a few times lately. Just now he told me he'd like to "hit her in the face" in regard to the host of PBS' Goodnight Show (still has issues with "goodnight", apparently). But he still runs to us with open arms and a huge smile after a day at work, which melts that ice that can build with so much attitude abounding. Ian can go anywhere and be complimented for how sweet he is, what a good sharer, how "well-behaved" and generally mellow-natured he is. He is a delight to be around, he just saves the "best" for us which we are grateful for.

Maggie is going cuckoo for the Lion King (well, just the opening scene- still not enough attention to watch much more than that. I may be a bad Mom for wishing she could watch the whole thing once in a while...). She holds her baby doll up when Mufasa holds up baby Simba for his presentation in the opening scene, and talks about the "mess" when Rafiki spreads the ash on Simba's face. So cute. The poor thing is getting her incisor teeth, if you have little ones or can remember when then you know what I'm talking about. But she is still the happiest girl when not in pain, and everyone asks "is she always so happy and outgoing??". Yes, she is, but don't let that fool you- she has a will of steel and has a way of talking you in to or out of any number of things, depending on the mood. She puts up with no funny business from her brother, and has started dishing it out too. She is a busy, busy, busy little bee in perpetual motion. Her vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds, and while we don't understand all the words she is almost always able to communicate through a combination of words, inflection, pointing, and proper signs what it is she wants or doesn't want. She's edible.

Enough rambling for this snowy afternoon... it's time for a craft project, wrestling match, or other indoor activity!

Handful

"You've got your hands full!". I can't tell you how often I hear this line. It used to annoy me, just for the sheer unoriginality of it. But it's true, and I know I look like my hands are full when I'm pushing a double stroller, holding the leash of a dog who still doesn't really know how to walk on a leash (he's 11), attempting to keep the kids' hands off of each other, picking up dog poop with an inside-out produce bag, and perhaps talking on the phone or reading a text... Yes, my hands are full, and it's okay that strangers notice. Today we got some laughs from passersby on our walk as Ian was spraying his spray bottle of "monster spray" (someone has to protect the neighborhood from monsters!), while Maggie was slouched in the stroller, holding a tiny bobble-head doggie, with grape fruit leather smeared all over her face. Max was sniffing and peeing madly, as we haven't been perfect dog walkers despite the 70 degree weather in January. We've been walking, but usually it involves at least one kid on foot and lots of sightseeing, so we barely get off the block. This is sweet Maggie on Christmas Eve, all dressed up and ready to go. Sweet, perhaps in contrast to the little hellion that has since emerged from this innocent face! Okay, she's only just begun to hell-raise, and we know that it will get much much worse, but that girl is busy looking for things that will get a reaction from any of us. We can no longer assume that big brother is to blame for any altercation that may erupt... it's just as often her, trying to steal a toy or refusing to share something. Luckily, we can usually all laugh (including Ian), because it's so damn cute to see such a fierce little will being exerted over something that is usually so inconsequential. It's a good thing she also does sweet things like grab your face and give you noisy "mu-ah" kisses, and walk around singing "Bye-Bye Guitoooooo" (just like her music teacher sings bye bye guitar, bye bye shakers, bye bye bells....), or gleefully shriek "Baaaaaybaay" as she collects her babies and puts them on the spread out blanket on the floor (that she got you to lay out for her with a series of grunts and made up signs). Yes, these innumerable edible things do make up for the screaming and kicking diaper changes and even the mouthfuls of dog food that she sneaks from Max's bowl and then comes and spits out in your hand before you even know she has it. The fun has just really begun.
Now Ian, my little lovey, can be like Jeckle and Hyde, as I believe most three year olds can. One minute he's handing out hugs and saying things like "Mommy, you look beautiful", and the next he's telling me "I don't like your attitude, Mommy!", or rolling his eyes saying "oh, come on!". One day I can help him get dressed, the next it's only Daddy. I have to say, though, that I *think* he saves the best of these mood swings for us. His teacher told us that he was so sweet, showing the new boy around at school and befriending him immediately. He has even managed to become friends with the boy at school who gets in to the most fights and has had the hardest time adjusting. He can bake a sand cake with his little girlfriend (her mother already told me it would be so nice if they got married) and he can get wild with the wildest boys. That's my well-rounded little guy. Somewhere along the way I've actually become more comfortable when he is alone in the next room with Maggie than if she were by herself... I used to worry that he was taking the opportunity to test out her flexibility or her tolerance for something obnoxious or downright dangerous, but now he is usually keeping her out of trouble. He's already the protective big brother, and if we're playing with other kids on a playdate or at the park, he is most definitely making sure that no one else is antagonizing her (that role reserved for him, of course). I never thought far beyond the first year of having two little ones, mostly because it was survival mode for a while, but now I can see that they are going to be close, and it warms my heart.