Somehow almost a year has passed since I've stopped to reflect on our little life as a family. We've lost our dear dog. We've lost a dear friend. We've been to Disneyland, the beach, driven some uncharted territory, and been back to Boston. We've had birthdays- turning 3 and 5 were big milestones, and life has become so much easier in some ways. But it keeps getting busier and the time keeps going faster. One committment, one activity, one trip, or one more holiday always comes before taking the time to reflect and be grateful.
But today, I find myself waiting to board my first child-free flight since 2005. That's almost 6 years. That's almost as long as I've been a mom, which is so much at my core that it feels like forever. At first, just sitting and waiting by myself, I start to twitch and fiddle. What do I do with myself? No one needs snacks, or entertainment, or pants buttoned or hands washed or a drink of water. But then I relax at my little desk in the airport (my flight is delayed, you see), and what I feel is an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all the moments and trips and activities and holidays- but far and away, above all, the people- that have made up this year.
I am on my way to see my Dad. He is in the hospital, facing a potentially devastating diagnosis. Please don't misunderstand, but for the first time in a long long time I was sitting at home wishing I was somewhere else. It makes me realize that my heart really can be, and if fact is, in two places. It makes me realize I wouldn't trade my life for anything. And it makes me get on this plane alone for the first time in my childrens' lifetimes despite the pangs of anxiety I feel in leaving them. Amazing how much perspective fear can give you.
I don't know what will happen with my Dad, but I do know how grateful I am for today. Now it's time to catch up on all the gratitude of the last year.
