What Clean Means

(image borrowed from http://www.makememanly.com)

30 days.  No sugar, no alcohol, no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no refined oils; 7+ hours of sleep per night, 5 Crossfit workouts and 2 rest days per week.  Lots of free-range, grass fed meats, pastured eggs, vegetables and fruits. Bubbly water instead of wine.  Fitness tests, pictures, measurements, and the dreaded "fat dunk tank" before and after.  There are teams, coaches, and prizes... I don't yet know if I won anything for my efforts, but at the risk of sounding like a total cheezball, I am a winner no matter what.

What I lost:  7.5 pounds of fat.  4 inches off my waist and hips.  2.9% less fat in my body composition.  I lost a full pants size, and a full bra size (Boo! Oh well).  I lost a level of emotional dependence on food and drink.  I lost my chronic heartburn.  I LOST my chronic heartburn; my biggest marker and goal going into this thing.

What I gained:  Fitness in all measures- strength, speed, endurance.  Self respect.  A sense of self-discipline. Half a pound of lean muscle.  2 more notches on my belt (literally- I had to have new holes punched!)

I was so dedicated to this thing that by the end, I was even annoying myself.  You know when you just don't want to hear about it anymore, when someone else is doing something like this?  I didn't want to think about it any more at times, didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to do it.  I was sick of it.  But I stuck it out, and I am so grateful to Matt and the kids for supporting me wholeheartedly during this month- even though sometimes mommy with no vices can be a *little* moody.  I did have two meals during the 30 days that were not clean... at the time it was totally planned and in control, but looking back I do wish I had stuck to my guns the full 30 days.  One thing I did not cheat on was the alcohol- for some reason failure in that department wasn't an option!

Grassfed steak with cherry glaze. Yum.

I knew I would have headaches, I would feel deprived at times, would have cravings; but what I didn't expect was the emotional roller coaster that breaking comfortable habits would lead to.  The cream in my coffee every morning.  The drink (or two) with dinner most nights.  The bread.... oh, the bread that is so comforting and delicious.  It is very hard to articulate my emotional relationship to food, but there were many times in the first couple weeks especially that I really felt sorry for myself.  I felt deprived during social events when I couldn't eat or drink anything. To my shock, that went away.  I don't think my emotional tie to food is more extreme than most people's, but it is how we celebrate.  It is where I turn when I'm really happy, or really stressed, or really grumpy, to give my brain that little boost of serotonin.  It is subtle, but undeniably there.  And this 30 days taught me that I don't need anything in the way of food or drink- it took some serious power away from food.  Sure, life is too short to not enjoy and indulge.  And I enjoy food.  I enjoy drinks.  Most of all I enjoy not having to think every time I eat.  But like all things, when it is restricted in some manner, the enjoyment derived from food escalates.  The key is to harness that power, yet not let it be a power over me.  I have been a yo-yo in terms of weight and fitness my entire life.  I have spent way too much time thinking about it, working on it, making new "that's it!" resolutions.  My real challenge is to not let this time be more of the same.  This is for the rest of my life.

This is how you do girls' night on the clean
challenge; fruity bubbly water and paleo
deviled eggs topped with bacon!

What I also didn't expect was how many bad food choices I make out of laziness or over-busy-ness, and have nothing to do with cravings.  It is easier to make a sandwich for lunch, or have a cup of yogurt for a snack, or munch on some chips in the afternoon when I'm a little slow to get dinner on than it is to have truly nutritious food ready to go.  I was aiming for about 1700 calories a day this month, and when that is in the form of NOTHING but nutrient-dense calories, that is a lot of food.  The rest is just fillers and empty calories.   Planning, shopping, and having the go-to's available all the time is really not that hard, it's a habit that needs to be forged.  

Shrimp & Avo ceviche on a bed of lettuce.
That's not deprivation, that's lunch!

The most challenging part of my challenge is now... to maintain the self-discipline to re-introduce foods gradually so that I can arrive at "my personal paleo code", or what is good for my body alone.  Is it dairy that gives me heartburn?  We'll soon find out.  Is it grains, or is it the refined oils that are SO omnipresent in prepared foods?  Or is it the accumulation of all of that, and once I reach a daily threshold I feel that familiar burn in my chest?  Once I figure it out, I will know how I need to eat for the rest of my days.  That's huge.

As my wise husband says, "All things in moderation, including moderation".  And with that, I am going to keep up my new-found paleo lifestyle for 80-90% of the time.  That leaves room for things I love that are not good for me in large amounts.  Pizza.  Ice cream. Cookies. Cream in my coffee.  A big fat juicy Illegal Pete's burrito. Vacation food.  And with that, hopefully I can continue toward my goal of "fit for my 40's", which are just around the corner.  I feel amazing, I feel accomplished, I feel in control of my health and well-being.  I feel more fit that I probably have, ever. That's a win.

My favorite form of "moderation"

A Good Year

Lady Liberty at Christmas time

Christmas 2013

Greetings, Friends and Family!

2013 has been an eventful and wonderful year!  The highlight was, of course, our 7-week adventure to South Africa, with stops in Switzerland and Italy before and after.  There is no way to summarize that kind of trip, but lifelong memories and friends were made, and there is no doubt for any of us that Africa will pull us back once again - probably sooner rather than later.  We fell in love with beautiful South Africa - the country and its people, history, animals and breathtaking scenery. The kids amazed us with their travel savvy ways, and did better than their parents with jet lag and looooong flights.  Cars, busses, planes, trains, and boats- they are jet-setters now; they are ready for anything. 

Clay Class Art Show, 12/13

Maggie turned 6 in September, and is in the 1^st grade. She is an artist to her core, and she filled many travel journals with her own creative interpretation of the things we saw on our trip.  She is both prolific and thoughtful in her drawing and is now taking a ceramics class to explore her creativity with that medium.  She is also quite a social girl with many friends – both girls and boys - and she loves school.  She is among the youngest in her class, but you would never know it when you see them all together- she is thriving.  She made us proud when she chose to be Jane Goodall for Halloween.  She decided this all on her own after visiting Jane’s Chimpanzee Sanctuary near Kruger National Park in South Africa.

Very serious about Honey Badger football

Ian turned 8 in October, and is rocking 2^nd grade- especially the pickup football and soccer games at recess, but in the classroom too!  He truly loves playing and watching both football and basketball.  He is lucky enough to have his Dad as his flag football coach (Honey Badgers were undefeated!) and a great group of boys and parents to play with. He loves the Buffs on the field and the court, and makes it to many games.  He is also a big Denver Broncos fan. Ian is a sweet and lovable tough guy, with friends across classes, nationalities, girls and boys, with a soft spot for little animals and little people.  He’s pretty hip though too- he and one of his closest friends Jace went as Daft Punk for Halloween (you might have to Google it)! 

No caption needed...

Coach Matt gets dog-piled

Matt is an Associate Professor now, officially tenured and promoted.  Neither of us fully realized the journey that is the tenure year- his professional life was put under a microscope and brought to countless committees for vote over the course of the year.  It became official in August, and we celebrated with a big old backyard party.  Apparently everyone thought Matt needed a stiff drink after that ordeal as we still have bottles and bottles of bourbon, scotch and bubbly brought by friends in celebration. It is certainly a huge accomplishment, and now he can settle in to academic life after tenure.  His research continues to be creative and span many fields of biomedical inquiry, and his skills are constantly in demand.  Matt’s other hats include assisting the Athletic Department with recruiting of athletes across sports, and all around amazing husband, and super involved Dad. Life after tenure is good!

Celebrating Tenure at the CU Heritage Center

Selfie on Boulders Beach, Capetown SA

Mary continues to work as a Nurse Practitioner part time at the Student Health Center on CU Boulder’s campus- which some weeks is a little closer to full time, but she can’t complain when she mostly gets school breaks and summers off! It continues to provide challenge and a surprising amount of variety, with a population that is really fun to work with.  Her other part time job, co-PTA President at Ian and Maggie’s school, is another fun challenge that sometimes feels full time! It’s a wonderful school and community and it feels good to give something back. 

The lowlight - by a large margin - was the devastating flood of 2013 that impacted many lives along the Front Range. We knew when we bought our house that a floodplain runs right through our backyard but to be honest, we never thought we’d have riverfront property!!  Around 2.30am on the first night of flooding we looked out our window and saw nearly 3 feet of water flowing through our backyard as the rain came down at an astonishing rate of 2-3 inches per hour. We did not get much sleep that night but we are very grateful that we did not have to evacuate, and after a few very long days our only damage sustained was to our backyard.  Matt’s parents had to be emergency airlifted from their mountain home by FEMA, and though their home was not damaged, they were unable to return home until the roads were repaired in November.  Everyone is glad that they are finally home sweet home!

As the stressful times make the rest so much sweeter, we are filled with gratitude for this wonderful life!  Mostly for 2014 we wish to maintain this balance of work, family, play, adventure, and down time that we are really enjoying.  We hope you are finding balance and peace in your current life too!

Our love,

Matt, Mary, Ian & Maggie

After the show… Times Square late night fun!

A spontaneous moment with Santa at the Plaza Hotel

Nice and full after lunch at Tony's DiNapoli in NYC

Silly cousins riding the NYC subway

"And you're taking the kids?"

Maybe we should have thought about it more.  Maybe we should have considered the reasons behind the question posed to us over and over as we told people about our upcoming trip.  But we didn't; in fact it didn't even cross our minds.  Of course, we were going to take the kids.  Even at the end, an American grandmother we met in Rome said "well they must be tired by now, poor kids", after learning we had just dragged them half way around the world.

We are home now, after almost 7 weeks abroad, home sweet home. We are fighting through the jet lag and the laundry, and processing what just happened- which in a nutshell was a trip of a lifetime.  That phrase does bother me, just a little, because we have every intention that this will be the first trip of a lifetime for these kids, not the only.


We asked way too much of these kids, time and again, and they consistently exceeded our expectations.  They flew dozens of hours, were driven just as many, were dragged on and off of crowded buses, through train stations, and had long waits in airports; they walked more miles than they ever wanted to, were woken up at ungodly hours, kept up far too late, been bored out of their minds at times, and completely overstimulated at others.  They were the only kids around the vast majority of time, perhaps because South African schools were in session, and perhaps because their parents are crazy- who does this stuff?  Close encounters with wild animals, sharks, and zip lines, not to mention taking up residence in "the crime capital of the world"... some might call it irresponsible and risky.  But we were hoping to plant a seed; for a life of excitement, curiosity, awareness, living in the moment, and enjoying this beautiful world and its' creatures.  We thank our lucky stars that we came home safely, without incident, and with our mission accomplished.


There were many moments when the pits in our stomachs couldn't be ignored, and we thought we just might have pushed them too far.  Our first "morning" in Switzerland, which was really about midnight to our bodies, we dragged Maggie out of bed for breakfast and she vomited on the hotel lobby floor out of sheer exhaustion. But she rallied, we walked all over Lucerne that day and even took a boat trip; she was excited to see where we were, and not about to go back to bed.  Ian, at least twice, looked up at us with profound fear in his eyes saying "do I have to??"- and he did, he loved it, and was glad he had found his courage.  During the week when Maggie had a fever of 103 we sat in the urgent care in a foreign country with foreign viruses and parasites with our first, and only, pangs of homesickness.  During the 5 days of her fever, which was ultimately called the flu after all more exotic etiologies had been ruled out, Ian had to entertain himself at home on the guest house grounds- and he did, without a whine.  During tense driving in harrowing situations with the GPS going haywire during Johannesburg rush hour, the kids heard "SHHHHH! We REALLY need to concentrate right now", and they sat quietly and patiently while we navigated a situation.  Despite these moments, and there were plenty of them, the kids did not complain.  They did not beg for TV, or familiar food, or to go home, or anything.  They missed their friends, but they understood that they would see them soon enough. They were completely, totally, and fully present on this journey.

They have each grown so much in six short weeks.  Ian, our resident picky eater, has declared "pap" (grits, polenta, ugali... maize meal) and split pea soup delicious, and has tried (and loved!) more new foods than in all of his life.  Maggie, our "I'm bored" girl, has learned to entertain herself on the longest of journeys and has overcome fearful situations that brought her to tears.  They have both heard heavy and heartbreaking stories of animal and human suffering, have asked the most poignant of questions, and astonished us with their level of understanding and acceptance.  They had no idea what they were getting into when they stepped on to that first overnight flight- how could they? They also had no idea what they were capable of, but now they do.

They have grown, matured, gained confidence and skills, patience, perspective, insight and gratitude. They are proud of their accomplishments, and that is the greatest gift of this big journey.  That, and the fact that they have discovered they can be the best of friends.  At home it might be easy to think your friends are cooler than your sibling; but when you are stuck with each other for weeks on end, perspective changes.  They fought, they needed their space at times, but they have never had such an opportunity to bond, and they did just that.  Ian and Maggie stepped up to this challenge, on every level, and we are so proud of them.

So yes, we took the kids.  Of course we did- anyone who knows them knows that they are not the kind to be left behind.  Maybe these apples don't fall far from their trees, or maybe it is our own selfish desire to have them with us and have our adventures too.  But we wouldn't have had it any other way.

Arrivederci, Amalfi

My Mom and Dad toured Italy several years ago and raved about the Amalfi Coast.  Dear friends did the same.  "Nah, you don't really need to see that, it's nothing special" said no one, ever.  The Amalfi coast is unique, is stunning, is delicious, is aromatic, is warm, is refreshing, is relaxing, is an amazing place to put our feet up at the end of a long journey.  Only, it turns out, we don't put our feet up all that well- there is too much to explore.

The theater at Pompei.  Ian loved every minute of this tour.  Taking pictures of everything,
even the original frescoes that adorn each room of the brothel- a menu of services, if you will.
 Luckily tastefully done in ancient Pompei, such that he didn't "get" it!   

Original paved roads in Pompei; astonishing engineers, from the lead piping
for water to the houses themselves- one house was 9,000 square feet! With original
frescos and mosaics and statues.  It did not take much imagination to envision life in this
incredibly "civilized" city.  

Still a pagan city at the time of the explosion and eruption of Vesuvius in 79 A.D., this  temple
was dedicated to Jupiter.  Bust still completely intact.  Vesuvius, in the background, now at about
4000ft tall, stood twice that tall prior to the '79 eruption.  

The explosion of Vesuvius robbed the air of Pompei of oxygen and suffocated people with
noxious gas within minutes.  The ash softly fell on Pompei in the eruption that followed, encasing this huge
and vibrant city in time.  During the hundreds of years of excavation since Pompei's discovery in the 1700's,
archeologists would fill the molds where the bodies had decomposed with plaster, making these incredibly detailed casts of the victims.  You can see the expressions on their faces, which is of course eerie, but leaves you with a deep sense of the humanity in this place.  A rare gift when visiting such ancient ruins.  Again we were worried how the kids would take this sight, but as usual, we underestimate their understanding of life and death.

The frescoes are original in Pompei, another way of seeing the livelihood of this place. The ancient Romans had
a skilled use of perspective in their painting, something that would not be seen again until the Renaissance.  

The bath house at Pompei, with cold, warm and hot rooms, was luxurious.  They charged women more to enter because they spent more time there than men on average! They had hollow floors and walls to circulate steam through the steam room. Radiant floor heating, over 2000 years ago! The floors were all original mosaic, these sculptures line the entire room.  They had a specially designed ceiling to prevent the condensation from falling on heads.  Unbelievable engineers, with a lot of slave labor.

The crater atop Vesuvius.  Still an active volcano, the dangerous type which doesn't ooze but rather explodes, they promised us that they monitor activity looking for warning signs of imminent explosion... and it is only a matter of time.  They built the city of Naples, which is a huge metropolitan area, just a few miles from this volcano.  The current evacuation plan calls for evacuating 700,000 people- I don't see how!

The view from atop Vesuvius, Mediterranean Sea below with the Island of Capri in the distance.

Taking in the view after a hot and dusty hike up to the crater.  It was only 1km from the bus,
but it was straight up on loose basalt gravel.  The view was worth it!

A lovely walk to the beach

A gorgeous place for a refreshing swim.  Water so salty and calm
you can float almost effortlessly.  

Mozzarella smoked in lemon leaves in the middle.  I won the prize for healthy
dinner of the night, but it was long overdue after a lot of pasta and pizza!

No words... Jay Hurley, wish you were here.

The beautiful local ceramic craft.  If only I had just one more suitcase! 

Took a bus ride up to the beautiful hill town of Ravello; this view is the reward!

Amalfi has been the perfect place to say Arrivederci, or until we meet again, to Italy.  While I'm ready to be home after almost 7 weeks away, I am not done with Italy. There will be a next time!

When in Rome

A whirlwind 3 days spent in Rome, after the better part of two days spent in airports and overnight on a plane.  The kids continue to be great little travelers, rallying when the going gets tough.  Our suitcases are stuffed with newfound treasures, we've packed and repacked what feels like 100 times.  We have no truly clean clothes left, we've lost two hats, one iPad charger, and I'm sure several other things we haven't missed yet.  We've left clothing, toys, food, beer, wine behind at various stops because we just didn't want to carry it.  We've completely lost track of time, no idea what day it is on any given day- just where we are in our itinerary.  We are down to 4 nights, 3 flights, and one train left.  We are all going through the emotions experienced at the end of a journey- can't believe it's gone so fast, not ready for it to be over, but ready to be home. We miss friends and family, we miss our beds, our routines,  toys, and clothes.  There is so much we did, and so much we didn't get to do but put on our list for next time.  We learned so much, developed new perspectives, new tastes, new flexibility, new stamina.  We got out of our comfort zone long enough to feel comfortable with it, and that is what it was all about. 

Our 3 days in Rome are best described in pictures... So, when in Rome:

We stop to gawk and pose at all the major landmarks- this is the Fontana di Trevi

We stop for pizza.  A lot.  And real coke- no hfcs here!  Just good old fashioned
sugar to power us through the heat and miles. 

We shop.  Hats, purses, shoes, trinkets... but we don't buy that much, our suitcases are full!

We ride on Daddy's shoulders... so much walking, which is great for
adults but when little legs quit that's it!

We eat gelato...

We take illicit photos of the Sistine Chapel (I didn't know it was illegal, I swear!)

We join in Papa Mania. It's hard not to!

We eat more gelato... Sometimes as bribery to get to the next bus/train/hotel/pizzeria, as
was clearly the case in this picture- poor baby looks exhausted!
Saint Peter's Basilica and the Vatican behind Maggie. 

We take the red double decker tour bus!  Half this city is tourists this time of year,
and our pathetic attempt at speaking Italian gives us away anyway, so why not?
It's impossible to know what you're looking at unless on a tour... even still it's like
drinking from a fire hose to absorb all this history! 

We walk... and walk... and walk...
This is the Colosseum... mind boggling how intact it is,
and what went on here.  You can picture the lions and gladiators. 

We try to picture Rome at the height of the Empire...   And the
people who built this most impressive place by hand.  I've looked
at pictures of all of this before, but none of it makes a real impression until you
see it in person.  I just could not stop saying "it's so OLD!" "It's GORGEOUS!",
"It's AMAZING!".

We rest on some steps, sketching and daydreaming.  We later took
a tour of this building, which, it turns out, is a chapel from the 14th century, under a cathedral
from the 15th century, all built upon an underground prison from about 400 BC.  It is claimed that
this is THE prison that held St. Peter, disciple of Christ, before his execution.  We stood in the small damp
dungeon that has been recently re-discovered.  Crazy. 

This is the church that is built on the chapel that is built on the prison! This entire city
is built in layers, one era upon another, which is why it is so hard to know what you are looking
at in any one given place.  You are looking at well over 2000 years of civilization on one piece of earth. 

It must be said that I had no expectation for Rome.  I wasn't even thinking about our trip to Rome.  We booked it months ago, made a loose plan for things we wanted to see, and that was it.  It was such a "P.S." to our 5 weeks in Africa.  But it really did blow me away.  The beauty, the history, the complexity of this place.  The food, oh my, the food.  And the wine, and the gelato.  And the flowers on every balcony and every street corner.  People everywhere, tiny streets, more tiny trattorias than you can count- sometimes you can't tell where one ends and the other begins.  So quaint and massive at the same time.  I can honestly say I enjoyed our time in Rome so much more than I thought I would!  And then there's Amalfi... but that's another post!